This post will contain spoilers for episode 3×03 of How to Get Away with Murder.
Anyone who knows me knows I’m pro-selfie. In fact, you only have to go through my Instagram feed to know this. Selfies are great, selfies are wonderful. Hitting ‘send’ on a well-lit, suitably-filtered, perfectly-angled selfie is great and part of the fabric of life for today’s Millennials, armed with their iPhones and Instagram filters. The selfie is a skill, an art – there are people who even make money off selfies nowadays. But I’m not just some silly selfie-obsessed Millenial, no sir. I know there’s rhyme and reason to the selfie, I know my selfie etiquette. There’s a time and a place for a selfie. Picture this: you’re going out with your friends, you’ve just spent an hour on your makeup, your eyeshadow has been blended to perfection, you’re feeling good about yourself, and you have some time to kill before you leave your house – this is optimal selfie time. There’s also the no-makeup selfie, when you’re just chilling and feeling good and want the world to know it. Mainly, selfies are great to document your looks and confidence, show you’re feeling good, and they’re just fun. Sometimes. You probably shouldn’t take a selfie at a funeral and most definitely shouldn’t take a selfie with an overdosed call girl while she’s passed out on your sofa when you should be calling 911 to get her help. There’s a time and place for selfies, people. Learn your selfie etiquette. This week’s HTGAWM reminded us that some people don’t know selfie etiquette at all and also that some people are the absolute worst. Let’s talk about ‘Always Get Black.’
Present day: Oliver is hurrying around with shaky fingers and panicky breath, trying to erase the contents of Annalise’s phone like she told him to. While Oliver tries to hack into her phone without her fingerprint, Annalise is sassing the officer taking her prints at the police station while being questioned about where her phone is. Annalise gets her mugshot taken and it’s a better picture than my passport photo.
We go back in time 6 weeks and Annalise is checking herself out in the mirror. I would too if I had her wardrobe. Downstairs, Nate’s making her healthy smoothies while clothed. Um, this is not what me or Annalise signed up for, Nate. Still though, Nate makes a great house husband. He’s filed a missing person’s report on Frank because Annalise isn’t doing anything. Annalise isn’t happy with this and Nate questions his role, why he’s even here if he can’t help. Ultimately, Annalise and Nate are refusing to define the relationship – they’re just housemates who occasionally grab each other’s asses, it’s fine, it’s chill. Anyways, Annalise dumps the smoothie he made her into a bin once she’s at work because there are already too many bad things on this show without weird smoothies being a part of it.
This week’s client is Toby the Creeper. Literally, he’s called The Call Girl Creeper. He was caught on video removing a passed out call girl from his place, and this woman went on to die from an overdose. One non-Corrupt Clique student wonders why this guy needs a pro bono clinic and Annalise tells her to shush. I’m with the student, to be honest. This guy sucks. I realise I wouldn’t make it as an objective lawyer, I’m too judgmental and my morals are too strong. You do something evil and awful? Bye, see ya, I’m out. No one in the class speaks up or wants the case, except for Michaela, so it automatically goes to her. The first time we see Toby the Creeper is when Annalise, Bonnie and Michaela turn up to meet with him. Annalise says she’s happy he turned up on time and he makes some creepy remark about being used to working with women who get paid by the hour. Ugh, he’s so sleazy. I don’t know how they can stand to be around him, but clearly their patience is thin because Annalise tells him she’ll cut off his balls if he hits on Michaela.
The trial begins and there’s a new DA intent on matching Annalise at her game. We find out that Toby the Creeper used to hire escorts three times a week and even wrote a blog, rating the women based on their bodies and ‘vocal enthusiasm.’ UGH. This guy is the worst. Everyone looks horrified, from the Corrupt Clique guys to Bonnie and Michaela. Michaela is repeating all the laws and regulations Annalise is saying under her breath while Annalise says them and it’s hilarious and cute. She’s basically Hermione Granger. Then we find out that Toby the Creeper took and posted a selfie with the passed out, in-need-of-help woman 7 minutes before he called 911 for help – 7 minutes that could’ve helped to save her life. He’s disgusting. Afterwards, Asher refers to Toby the Creeper as a ‘perv’ and Toby the Creeper doesn’t think that’s an appropriate way to refer to client. Annalise tells him to deal with it.
We find out Laurel isn’t with the rest of the Corrupt Clique because she’s in Miami to see her father and find out Rogue Frank’s whereabouts from him. She doesn’t want to be there and her dad gives her a hug she doesn’t want. He’s a sketchy businessman, working in a very fancy office and he must have had plastic surgery since the last time we saw him. He reveals he’s hired someone to help them sort out their father-daughter issues through conflict resolution. Meanwhile, a worried Wes tries to look up Laurel’s father. Aww. Anyways, this week on Keeping Up with the Castillos, Laurel and her father fight it out in front of the mediator and we find out she was kidnapped at 16. WHAT. And he refused to pay the ransom to get her back. WHAT ON EARTH. They start arguing in Spanish and I have to try keep up with the subtitles. They’re clearly not going to come to a resolute easily but settle on an “I do something for you, you do something for me” situation.
Annalise is in her house searching for junk food – see, she might be fabulous but she’s relatable to all of us. Bonnie reveals Nate hasn’t gotten rid of it, she’s just hidden it – Bonnie’s always got Annalise’s back, through crimes and cookies. Meanwhile, Connor’s being mean and shows Michaela that her ex has gotten re-engaged to a very successful woman and poor Michaela looks so hurt. Toby the Creeper tries to creepily give her a confidence boost by rating her on a scale of 10. While Asher very vocally defends her and claims she’s with him now and Toby the Creeper needs to back off, Bonnie walks in and finds out about them. I’d honestly forgotten Asher and Bonnie were a thing. I don’t know which relationship is worse: Michaela/Asher or Bonnie/Asher. (But him trying to cheer Michaela up and being worried about her reaction to her ex was actually cute – then again, he was kinda cute and thoughtful with Bonnie too even if their relationship made me feel a little ill).
Annalise tries to strike a deal with the new DA, who’s clearly trying to model herself on Annalise – from her legal tricks to her sass. The DA uggests that her confidence is something she also stole from Annalise while Annalise hits back with ‘except I don’t have to fake it.’ Ooooh. I wouldn’t get out of bed the next day if Annalise did that to me. In Wes’ apartment, Wes and Meggy are having post-sex pillowtalk and she says she swiped his license to find out his birthday. Yeah right. Sure. I still don’t trust her. They’re about to go for round number 2 when Laurel calls Wes, who, instead of ignoring it, decides to take the call. Meggy looks understandably annoyed. In turn, the Wes/Laurel phone call is interrupted by Laurel’s dad who accuses her of having daddy issues for going after Frank. Yikes. He then does an award-winning impression of Frank. It’s hilarious, he’s won me over. (Not really). He wants her to sign something before he helps her with Frank.
Oliver, Michaela and Bonnie walk into Annalise’s office while she talks to a glistening Nate with his arms on show. Oliver stares in awe at Nate for too long, like he’s just seen heaven – exactly how the rest of us look at Nate, I’m sure – and has to be brought back down to earth by Annalise. Turns out, Toby the Creeper is being blackmailed by his old lawyer and reveals it’s because he killed a girl. No, friends, he’s not talking about the call girl he took a selfie with before letting her die. This absolutely awful person brutally killed another girl, a young runaway, because he has self-esteem and entitlement issues, and put her body in a freezer. What she did to him wasn’t right, attacking his physical appearance like she did, but she didn’t deserve to die for it. It really speaks to his male entitlement that he killed her because she rejected him. Afterwards, Bonnie reveals why she’s especially uncomfortable with this Toby the Creeper case, considering her own history of abuse – she could’ve been the runaway he killed. She wants to call the police but they can’t. Instead, Annalise offers to take care of her. I really love her and Annalise’s dynamic, their relationship is interesting.
Michaela, Asher, Connor and Oliver go to a casino together because YOLO. Michaela starts betting with money she stole from Toby the Creeper. Oliver flirts with a guy who then moves onto flirting with Connor. When Connor asks why he’s giving the drink he got for Oliver to Connor, this guy says Asian guys aren’t his type. Woah. Oliver is everyone’s type, you asshole. When Connor calls him a bigot, Bigot Guy says he’s merely stating a preference. Right. Sure. It’s just bigotry disguised as sexual preference. Connor goes off on the guy saying his online profile probably also says ‘no fats, no femmes, no blacks, no Asians.’ Go in Connor, Go in. (I’m genuinely worried Connor will be the one under the sheet because they’re making him extremely likable this season). While I cheer on Connor exposing the bigotry of white gay men from my sofa, Oliver walks up and Bigot Guy walks off. Instead of telling him what really happened, Connor doesn’t defend himself when Oliver claims he sabotaged him. Oh, Ollie, you don’t know what he just saved you from. In fact, Connor directly lies to him, saying he got jealous and told the guy to back off. I’m sure he wants to save his feelings from getting hurt but just be honest – why are these two so frustrating?
Annalise can’t sleep so Nate decides to have some pillowtalk with her. They agree that anything said won’t leave the room. Nate has secrets of his own we still don’t know and Annalise says there’s a dead girl in a freezer and she can’t do anything about it. Nate’s face tells me he’s wondering what the hell he’s moved in to. Clearly he doesn’t have secrets like this. Elsewhere, Rogue Frank finally calls Laurel back and reveals too much before she can hang up – a problem because her dad’s spying on her phone.
The next day, Toby the Creeper is on the stand. They’re lying about his involvement in the killing of Jeanie the runaway. I’m mad because I want him to be held accountable for his crimes and for those women to actually get justice. Afterwards, Annalise tells him he needs to plead guilty and he’ll get only 3 years. Toby the Creeper is annoyed because he wants no jail time at all. After letting one woman die and killing another for refusing him. What. Y’know, this guy really is the worst. Annalise then slaps him into another century and tells him he’s lucky he’s only getting three.
Laurel signs the papers her dad wanted to sign in order to get information on Frank. They seem to reconcile after her father tells her loves her and he’s sorry. It seems genuine but I don’t know. Laurel returns and tells Annalise she couldn’t sign her soul over to her father in order to get Frank’s whereabouts even though that’s exactly what she did. Girl, what are you up to? Meanwhile, Meggy calls out Wes on having feelings for Laurel and he denies this, telling her she’s the good thing in his life, not Laurel. Sounds like a lie but okay. I’m still here with my popcorn, waiting for the inevitable Wes/Laurel.
Back in present day, we find out Bonnie is still alive! And she’s acting as Annalise’s lawyer while Annalise is in her cell at the station. Oliver says he’s erased her phone before dropping it on the road. He says it in a way that I’m unconvinced. The episode ends with us finding out that there’s another person rescued from the house and they still have a pulse (though probably burnt and severely injured). Now, not only do we have to worry about who’s under the sheet, we also have to worry about who this person with a pulse is. Why do you do this to me, HTGAWM?
This season’s mystery really has me lost – I can’t even guess what’s going on. What were your thoughts on this week’s episode? What’s the most inappropriate selfie you’ve ever taken? Did you also feel Annalise’s slap through the screen? What are your #UnderTheSheet theories so far? Let me know!